


love behind the works

by kaito1031



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, they both have feelings for each other but just can't show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaito1031/pseuds/kaito1031
Summary: Bokuto Koutarou, ex-volleyball player, studying arts in a college in Tokyo, didn't confess to Akaashi Keiji, his setter, when they graduated.They've parted ways but Akaashi felt the same for his ace, he longed for him, so he transferred to Koutarou's college, and studied literature.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

I really miss him. 

Bokuto stared at the pictures hanging on his wall, it was the smiles of his team, he really missed them all, but Akaashi Keiji was the one he focused on the photograph.

It's been 8 months since they graduated, they have their own choices of courses, but Akaashi couldn't stay with Bokuto. Even if they wanted to. Bokuto pined for Akaashi, the three years that they were together playing volleyball. Bokuto complemented Akaashi's almost perfect sets with his line shots and his spikes. 

As if it's Akaashi really understood Bokuto, he really deals with his moody state, the owl-haired simple mindedness, being fixated into volleyball that he even forgets to study for Math, but Akaashi was there. 

Always. 

During the time that they weren't together for months, it somehow changed Bokuto. He got more calm and composed, like Akaashi does. He understood himself more, like Akaashi does. He controlled his moody state, like Akaashi does. He even ate onigiri almost everyday, just because it was Akaashi's favorite. 

Akaashi. Akaashi. Akaashi. Bokuto really missed him so bad that he cried every night he thought of him. 

Everyday.

It was then he wrote poems because he knew he loved literature but instead took Math. It was his way of conveying feelings anyway.

He took a piece of paper at his drawer, unfolded and it was the letter he never gave to Akaashi. He was scared of Akaashi leaving him behind. 

"I should regret the things I never done."

There were 4 words written on the unfolded paper.

"I love you, Akaashi."


	2. Chapter 2

Why was that the only time I can't be straightforward?

Akaashi stared at the ceiling, laying on his bed while dragging his feet around, feeling uncomfortable. He had a feeling that was welling up inside him and it made him felt bad and throwing up.

Maybe he also missed Bokuto.

Akaashi was always calm and composed, even if Bokuto's mood swings are in place, he did not falter to maintain his composure back then during practice matches, even helping Bokuto to regain his normal self.

Akaashi was the one who could understand Bokuto whenever they were together, even if he was blunt at his simple-minded ace, it kept Bokuto together.

But then, when they graduated, Akaashi's composure was broken to pieces. 

He hated to think about how would he choose between him and his choice of course, by his parents.

He wanted to become a novelist, even working at a manga company will do, as long as it involved writing.

He was forced to take Mathematics, but it wasn't available to where Bokuto is, so they parted ways. Before they graduated, he never able to tell Bokuto what he was feeling towards him, but instead, pushing him away.

He was always concerned for Bokuto.  
He always wanted the best for Bokuto.  
Pushing Bokuto away was for the best, so that they both could focus on their own, but it was the opposite.

As blunt as he is, he never got to tell Bokuto before they parted ways.

His declaration of love. 

He reminisced the thoughts of the court where they were, said goodbyes instead of this.

"Bokuto-san, for the past three years, you gave me passion for a sport that i was not passionate enough, you gave me purpose. 

I always thought of you because you told me so. That I should think about what's fun and what's not easy. It's not easy to tell you these feelings but being with you is fun. 

And for the last time, thank you for the time that I was your setter. As a setter for a star like you, you were so out of my reach, Bokuto-san. But I hope these words will reach you. 

Koutarou, I love you with all of my heart. 

He didn't have any guts to tell him but he wrote as he goes back to his memory lane. Writing his feelings in a blank paper, with a little bit of hope, that fate will let them meet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠ : attempted suicide

Bokuto finished his first year of college but still never had co tact with Akaashi. The phone number of Akaashi that he was dialing was always out of reach. Maybe he had to change numbers.

Bokuto already had assumptions what made them apart. 

Of course, the assumptions were all about Bokuto's the one to blame, not having any idea what could have made them apart, yet he blamed himself for being so moody, hard to take care of, or maybe he was just tolerated.

"Carry the memories far away,  
Bury deep to the ground without anything to say,  
but even the time that it will be forgotten,  
you would remember why would you want to forget." 

"Akaashi, please make me forget you—" 

He crosses the road while thinking of the four-line stanza but was unaware of the truck nearing him. 

"BOKUTO-SAN!" 

It was Akaashi. 

Was the poem a way to be connected once again? 

Bokuto remembered, Akaashi was fond of the lyrical and melodramatic lines that Bokuto was making during their literature class back then in the first year. It wasn't the volleyball that made them closer, it was this piece of art. 

Four lines. 

One stanza. 

Immense and overflowing feelings. 

Little did Akaashi know, was he was too fond of what was going in Bokuto's head, despite being simple-minded, creating works that made his heart flutter. 

That's why he wanted to take literature. 

To be close, close enough where they wouldn't let each other go,  
close enough to hold each other's hands, close enough to share everything between the both of them.


	4. Chapter 4

Akaashi was holding me, thought that I would never see him again.

"Bokuto-san? Are you okay now?" the blue-eyed man that was holding him gently that was reassuring.

"I just thought... I couldn't see you again." he replied.

"But now I'm in front of you. Please be aware of your surroundings, Bokuto-san." Akaashi retorted.

"Akaashiiii! I really missed you. I always spent the nights.. crying because.. I was thinking about how you.. were.

There were pauses in Bokuto's words because he was sobbing. But Akaashi thought that Bokuto got used to him and being dependent. Reciprocating his feelings didn't matter, as long as he was with Bokuto, he felt assured.

"What brings you here anyways, Akaashi?" Bokuto furrowed his brows.

"I'm transferring to your school, Bokuto-san. It took time for me to persuade my parents to take literature and I intended to having a failing grade." Akaashi sighed, but it showed relief.

Bokuto cannot hide his happiness that was growing within him. He wasn't anticipating it, yet it made him grin ear to ear.

"So then, can we make up for the year that we haven't been together?" Bokuto leaned towards Akaashi.

"Let's do so, Bokuto-san." Akaashi had a faint smile.

Another chance, another risk  
what's there to lose, to you that I seek  
But now, I should be calm and meek  
sometime in the future, I'll be yours to keep.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey Akaashi, why did you want to take up literature?"

"I told you, Bokuto-san, I wanted to be a novelist someday."

But that wasn't the root of it.

He wanted to make a novel for Bokuto Koutarou, in an artistic manner, where words are written metaphorically to show his feelings outwardly.

"Why don't we practice writing stuff then, Akaashi?" he pointed his fingers upward, sparking an idea.

"What would you write then?" Akaashi slightly tilted his head.

"Poetry. Then you'll write short narratives or fictions as a reply?"

"Wouldn't that be plain and a bit easy?"

"Do you recall what I told you back then?"

Akaashi thought for a moment and remembered what he should think about.

[Think about what's fun, not what's easy]

"Is this a challenge, Bokuto-san?"

"Not really, we just get to spend more time together." Bokuto grinned.

"Will there be a necessary theme?"

"I'll give you a piece of paper until we reach the 50th time we do this and that will conclude everything that we'll write."

Bokuto gets his notebook and his ballpoint pen to write a poem, as if copying notes, he wrote it without any problem, as if it's planned.

"Give me a reply the same way I did tomorrow, and we'll do this everyday."

"Okay then. I'll be going home now, Bokuto-san. See you at the campus tomorrow. 

Akaashi walked outside from the cafe they stayed at, and unfolding the paper it said:

How blunt, yet gentle,  
how stolid, yet imaginative.  
A beautiful, living paradox  
Someone who was flawless,   
now an embodiment of the "imperfectly perfect". 

Akaashi thought as if it wasn't Bokuto.

It wasn't the person who'd make straightforward poetry, more or less like a rant, but this was a whole different one.

"Were you referring to me, Koutarou?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi readers! since i've made this with just a prompt on a whim, sorry for the irregular updates because this has really no definite plot, i just continue when i feel like to. This will just be a short fic i realized, but i do hope you get what i try to portray 
> 
> i still hope y'all enjoying reading!

With just the naked eye,  
thee could see through me,  
to thy's eyes I am sublime  
wondering do others know what's within me. 

"Akaashi, you still use archaic words?" Bokuto shrugged. 

"Yes I do. Is there's something the problem?" Akaashi narrowed his eyes to Bokuto.

"Hmmmm, not really. It's just... it's not like you." Bokuto sighed. 

"You're one to talk, Bokuto-san." Akaashi pointed his finger to the grey-haired man that was in front of him. 

"But it's improved, unlike the days where our poems sounded more like a rant." 

The table that they were in filled with laughter, reminiscing the days. 

"Bokuto-san, would you mind if I started the next one?"   
Akaashi reached out to his bag with the small notebook, and a pencil. 

"I would like to reply next." Bokuto smiled. 

I am just a child that has nowhere to run, running away from the feelings that was cascading inside of me, scared and frustrated, a person found me and controlled the surge of emotions of my heart. 

The time that I was found,   
I was a child, now a man. 

"Akaashi." Bokuto looked straight at the dark haired man that was in front of him. 

"What is it, Bokuto-san?" 

"Do you love someone now?" 

Akaashi's thoughts was suddenly clouded. 

"Bokuto-san doesn't realize it? After all these years, he was the one who made me feel stable, but it's so stupid of me not to be straightforward, because I'm so scared of losing him. But if I don't tell, it might be too late. Bokuto was right. I'm a living paradox."

"Yes, Bokuto-san." Akaashi smiled gently. 

Bokuto borrowed the notebook from Akaashi and written a reply to it. 

"Akaashi, text me later okay! I have my class now. See you later." Bokuto walked away from the table they were sitting and Akaashi reached out for the notebook. 

Fifty works I said, not fifty words.   
Maybe this idea was too absurd  
But Akaashi Keiji,   
I intended to write forty-nine more,   
Forty-nine more works to show you how much I want you forevermore  
I love you, I don't want to hide it anymore.

Akaashi suddenly cried.

"Why does this feel more like a goodbye than a confession?"


	7. Chapter 7

I don't regret it now, I'm just waiting, who even I am to ask Akaashi. 

Bokuto was at his dorm, laying in his bed, staring inti space while his mind was occupied. Contemplating how he never straightforwardly told Akaashi his feelings, this was just a mess.

He'd make different assumptions knowing how collected Akaashi is, but maybe deep inside, he's emotionally strained.

And thinking about it, Bokuto never really knew that much about Akaashi.

1:45 am

[Akaashi] : Bokuto-san, are you still awake?  
[Akaashi] : Wrong of me to text you at this time, but if you have free time, could we go to Fukuroudani again?

He was dumbfounded by seeing Akaashi's sudden invitation, why would he want to go there? 

1:48 am  
[Bokuto] : I think I'll be free by Sunday. No worry, I can't sleep right now anyways. 

[Akaashi] : I'll be waiting at that place. And I have my reply for yours. 

Bokuto was worried, it made him antsy, pondered over why would Akaashi continue the relay. 

[Bokuto] : You don't have to continue it. And it was for you to improve right? 

[Akaashi] : But it was a way to convey my feelings.   
[Akaashi] : Good night, Koutarou. 

Bokuto had realized, the fraying caused by his mind, he never thought of the possibility that Akaashi could like him. It was the first time that Bokuto was called by his first name, it was a foreign feeling for him. He'd gotten used by "Bokuto-san" whenever he had been moody, whining, even casually. 

It was a first, yet he didn't want to make it his last. 

He wanted it forever.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this will be the last part of this short series. i planned this to be longer, but every time that i plan a fic it just ends nowhere so here you go

Sunday.

Bokuto thought this was too nerve-wracking. Having a lot of assumptions, he still contemplated whether to go or not, but it was Akaashi who'd invited him.

Another one of his firsts. 

Good thing he was just one train ride going to his former academy in Kanto region. He really did miss where would they walk after school, eating together with their teammates, and everything that they joked about, it was always full of laughter.

Just as he walked to the usual place, it was a waiting shed, nothing special. It wasn't that usual feeling where he would want to play volleyball because his teammates wasn't there. 

Or so he thought. 

"Bokuto-san, let's play volleyball."

A familiar voice came from behind that was holding a volleyball, 

it was Akaashi.

"Is it okay to play on the court? We aren't even students here now." Bokuto pondered Akaashi's idea as they walked at the street road. 

"I asked Coach Yamiji the other day if it was okay, he did consider at first, but it was fine since it was only the two of us."

Bokuto was surprised. Even if it was such a little thing, it made him really happy that Akaashi took time, so that they could play together again. They reached the school, and their coach was waiting for them, giddy enough to see the students in good form, it felt more or less a reunion. 

Akaashi's sets were still on point, the impact of ball Bokuto spiked were music to their ears, they had really missed it. They continued tossing, spiking, and picking up the balls, until they were tired.

"Akaashi, why did you invite me here?" Bokuto sat beside Akaashi after finishing picking up of the balls.

"I do think we have unfinished business here, Bokuto-san."

"Was it about the relay, or something else?" 

"You said i should end it, right?"

Bokuto felt uneasy. With Akaashi's voice, he did not know what emotions it conveyed but he was right, this was just an absurdity.

"Bokuto-san, remembered where we just said goodbye during our graduation, in this court?"

"Were you expecting something?" 

"I did, Koutarou."

"There's no helping it, Keiji."

The both exchanged replies with their first names, because deep inside they already knew what the two men, will say to each other. 

The feelings were mutual, but they got used in feeling friendly outwardly so they were still scared, that their friendship will be gone. 

Bokuto gets the folded paper, from 3 years ago.

"Here, Keiji. I was scared back then so it's about time, since it's only the two of us."

"Koutarou, no more of this. I want to hear it from you."

Akaashi hugged Bokuto, even if their sweat brushed into each other, he did not bother. He wanted to do this to Bokuto for so long, yet the fear of losing their friendship never subsided. 

"I love you, Akaash- I love you, Keiji." 

"I love you too, Koutarou." 

They went into a deep kiss, the ambiance in the court was warming up to their heat, feeling so surreal. They carressed and cuddled up to each other until it was time to go. 

"Maybe taking literature was the best choice that I've done." Akaashi told Bokuto, and laughed a bit. 

"Maybe I should've gone into the same course as you." 

"Well, you did. Before I shifted to literature." 

"Hey Keiji, if you think that we had a story, what would be it's title?" 

"I think you wouldn't be able to title the story if the end is nowhere to be seen." 

Bokuto was flustered, but Akaashi just smiled. 

"Do you still remember the first poem I gave you?" Bokuto asked Akaashi again. 

"I couldn't remember the details, but it sounded like a rant." 

Oh, the painful fate   
words couldn't be set out straight   
I know that I could just wait  
The future of us that I await. 

"I think this day was that fateful day."

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you'll look forward to the other chapters!


End file.
